Today, our little princess Aria is one month old. I still remember 7th of June crystal clear, when during the last stage of labour, my very awesome midwife Rose Mary kept me from yelling in pain and really made me push with all my energy, how despite my best efforts nothing happened. How she even threatened with a C-section after all the pain and drama. And how each second seemed like an eternity until my hubby with tears in his eyes told me, “I can see her head.” It was the only thing I needed to hear and Lo and behold, Aria came out roaring like a Lioness. (Aria in Hebrew means Lioness).
One month since then, I am still understanding what Motherhood means. What I can vouch for is this: its not all romance and play.
Motherhood is not the toughest job in the World.
I have often heard that Motherhood is the toughest job in the World. I will tell you this– It is not, it is a Calling which requires all your focus, energy and dedication. Two days after Aria was born, her weight dropped drastically– 11 percent. I was also having issues nursing her. For two and half weeks, I did not do anything else but nursed, nursed and nursed her to bring her weight back to normal. It was a rocky start but at the end we both turned the tide rather well. My Dad and hubby told my (another awesome) midwife Lynette that they have NEVER EVER seen me so focused or dedicated about anything. But that’s what being Mum means I guess: You want to do nothing but the best for your child sometimes even at the cost of your own comfort.
There is no room for self-doubt: From day one you will constantly wonder if you are doing the right thing and people even your own family will show their doubts about your skills and abilities but there is no room for self-doubt. You have to trust your instincts and do what you think is the best. I still have some trouble nursing her and I have to hear all sorts of comments but then sometimes after I’ve fed her, Aria gives me a little smile and I would like to think I am doing something right.
Sometimes you want to run away from all of this
Some times you feel like an utter fool for bringing out such a huge responsibility, this calling on to yourself. When you have slept less than three hours in 3 days you will feel like running away from all this because you wonder how will your ever cope up with the challenges yet to come. Motherhood is a life-alternating experience that will change your life and yourself in a matter of days. One day, you are happily enjoying Game of Thrones with your hubby and wondering about Tyrion’s fate and the next day you find yourself in labour room and going through the cycle of feeding, changing diapers, calming a little life. You will feel like you cannot take this anymore, you will feel like going somewhere far, far, far away but then your little one will hold your finger in their tiny palm rather tightly and you will relax instantly.
No one will be affected by their cries like you but there is no room for weakness: You share a weird bond with your little one. Even their tiniest cry will wake you up from deepest slumber. All your senses are heightened. Every time Aria cries my heart breaks but I’ve learnt one thing: there is only room for one baby. You have to, no matter what, roll up your sleeves, man up and take stock of the situation.
Motherhood is not for the faint hearted: Motherhood is exhilarating, exhausting, mind-numbing, emotional ride that will make you weepy for no apparent reason one moment, a raging, ungrateful prick another, a soothing, calming person one moment and a crazy lady the next. It is so emotional you will often wonder how you had these emotions in you at the first place. It is a truly self-less journey that will force you to put your little one’s needs ahead. It is not for the faint-hearted.
And yes, despite all this it is worth it.