I never thought I would write this post so early in my journey as a mom. But because there’s a fresh debate on sex-selective abortion in UK, I am beginning to ponder what it means to be a girl and how should I raise my daughter in a world where even now women are considered as weaker sex and a liability of sorts.

Abortion is a contentious and divisive issue however as a feminist it mortifies me that even at this age and date we live in a society where girls are not even given a chance to live and are killed before life itself solely because of their gender. This blog very succinctly explains the whole dilemma with sex-selective abortions in UK.

Image Via Google Images

Image Via Google Images

Many in the UK are scared to openly discuss about this issue for the fear of seeming like a racist. I firmly don’t think it is a race or culture issue, female feticide is oppression of the worst kind and it transcends the boundary of race and culture. Coming back to my dilemma; here are few things I wish to tell my daughter in the hope that she doesn’t feel like an unwelcome gender.

  • Never underestimate yourself. Throughout life self doubt may plague you but do not underestimate yourself.
  • To quote Aibileen Clark (from The Help), “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
  • Life will get you down sometimes. Get up, breathe and move on.
  • Be a feminist. They are not man-haters or people-haters as they say. Be a feminist, wear the damn high heels, that lipstick, that awesome dress but do it for yourself not for anyone else.
  • People would always try to put you in a box. You don’t have to be in a box you are a person not someone’s pet.
  • Travel. It is the best education you will ever get.
  • Mix with people from all races and backgrounds. Each one will teach you something.
  • Never be afraid to use your voice.
  • Always be yourself.
  • Take pride in your gender. Men and women are different only biologically. Don’t let social differences shape you.
  • Read. Move. Dance. Love.
  • Make mistakes. It’s okay, that’s how you learn.
  • Learn one sport.
  • Never shrink yourself; never make yourself smaller.
  • You are second to none.
  • You matter. Every Girl Matters.

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a great mid week.  Do show me your love with your likes and comments and don’t forget to follow me.     🙂

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Dear hubby,

Love.

We all want it. We all seek it. When we find it; we do our best to relish it every day.

But then life gets in the way.

Ever since becoming parents, we have been consumed in a never-ending situation of busy. To-do lists, bills, work, baby, chaos has become part of our life. I am always lamenting that I never have time to do anything productive. You lament that you don’t have time to spend just with me. At night if we are lucky to get some time for ourselves we sit in silence too tired to talk. Perhaps lost in our own thoughts. And so life goes on.

you had me at hello

But despite the bedlam of life, this busyness, this not having time I just want to say I love you. I still remember our first date—in a ramshackle coffee shop. We were meeting for the first time, after months of talking on phone and online. I thought I would have a time tough as I was such an unsure, shy person that time. But our conversation kept going oblivious to the world. You hugged me and I thought I had found home.

We got married and promised we will grow old together.

So here’s the thing. I love you even though sometimes you exasperate me (and I know it’s a mutual feeling), even though sometimes I hate you. I love you through the hardships, the tears, the challenges that life will throw at us. I love you even though we won’t have time or energy to make grand gestures of romance. I love you through the grey hair and wrinkles. I love you through the smiles, the laughter, the songs, the joy and the love itself.

Because you are my home.

Yours,

Wifey

Hope you all had a great Valentines day.

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I had an extremely productive weekend after a long time. Last Saturday the first ever South Asian blogging event was conducted in London. The event had journalists from BBC, Sky, Media Diversified, UK Asian and Huffington Post as well as experts from Google and WordPress and not to mention all kinds of bloggers.  As a blogger, it was a great experience meeting fellow bloggers and experts and I was glad that I attended the event despite my initial misgivings.

Image via: Migreat

Image via: Migreat

The night before the event, I had a nightmare that I would go there only to find an empty room. Instead, I saw a room packed with South Asian women bloggers. Priya Changela from Migreat, the lady behind the event later said that it was only pure chance that all the bloggers were women. I was really heartened to see so many women bloggers from the same ethnic background like me. It only proved that writing is a medium that breaks the barriers of race and gender. The icing on the cake was that we also learnt some really techy bits that I must confess I would not have known without the event.

Image via: Migreat

Image via: Migreat

Image via: Migreat

Image via: Migreat

  • It is important to build personas.
  • In today’s smart phone obsessed world, mobile is everything. Think mobile. Always.
  • If you dig really deep, Google has all the answers on how to build an extremely successful blog.
  • No matter what keep the conversations going through your posts, your followers, comments and social media.
  • However don’t get bogged down by all this technological shizzle at the centre of it is writing. Honest, heartfelt and hence powerful. French novelist Gustave Flaubert has said, “The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe,” and I completely identify with this statement. Writing—be it creative writing or news features or about fashion or life—is like catharsis to me. It helps me to deal with my pain, doubt, insecurities as well as celebrate my few achievements.
  • My love for writing began as a kid; when I would spend a lot of time scribbling in my diary. Naturally, I thought of making a career out of it. I love how ideas can be converted into memorable written word (editors are you listening?). Even if one reader says that they liked my post and ideas, I feel an unabashed sense of pride.
  • So take that pen (or your computer) and write; it might just teach you a thing or two about yourself and the world.

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a great mid week. Do show me your love with your likes and comments and don’t forget to follow me  🙂 You can also follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest

Mothers are all slightly insane—JD Salinger

The thing about being a mom is that you almost overnight become excellent in multitasking. It is alarming how quickly we women lose our confidence as we get embroiled daily taking care of another human being. We are Moms, masters of multitasking and no matter what that’s a quality we should be unashamedly proud of. Here are some multitasking activities that I have mastered ever since the arrival of my little one.

Image via google

Image via google

  • Working, studying and blogging while nursing.
  • Doing squats while brushing teeth because time is precious.
  • Sleeping (or trying to) while nursing and being baby’s all night buffet.
  • Cooking while entertaining and dancing like a clown for the little one.
  • Doing Kegels while watching TV.
  • Actually forgetting about damn Kegels and hurriedly having tea/coffee while watching TV with one eye on the baby.
  • Doing almost anything one-handed because the other is holding or soothing the baby.
  • Cleaning (okay just trying to clean) the house while playing with the baby.
  • Instead checking ASOS, Facebook, blog while playing.

Apparently, multitasking can shrink the brain. No wonder motherhood can make us a bit cuckoo.

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When you have your first baby, you suddenly have a shift in attitude to life. It’s not all about you anymore, in fact when you first get face-to-face with that little bundle of joy, your priorities change completely and irrevocably. There’s always going to be someone that you need to worry about more than yourself.

That’s all natural and well and good, however, it can be dangerous to never give yourself any time that’s especially for you. You can end up feeling burned out and frazzled if you don’t give yourself a little break now and then, and be self-indulgent with what you do with that time.

You may think that there aren’t enough hours in the day to be a good mum and to have ‘me’ time, but it can be achieved – even if it’s only five minutes at a time. Here are just a few ways how to do it.

Take time out to play

When your baby’s having their afternoon nap, don’t feel you have to fill that time with useful stuff every day. You’re entitled to have some R&R too, and while your baby doesn’t need your attention, playing a few games can help you unwind. Online or on your mobile, you have a huge choice of gaming possibilities, from puzzles to word games to free bingo games. Check out the free bingo rooms at Costa to see just how easy it is to start playing for fun, even though there are cash prizes to be won.

Breathe and relax

Image via: Google Images

Image via: Google Images

Though you might feel like sleeping, you probably won’t have time for a proper nap yourself. Instead, lie down in a darkened room for five minutes and think about nothing else apart from your breathing. Other thoughts might try to crowd in, but if you push them away and focus on your breathing, you’ll notice that it gets slower and deeper and you’ll soon feel calmer. Although it’s not quite the same as a power nap, just five minutes of contemplative breathing can give you an energy boost. I kid you not.

Call someone

We all have so many ways to communicate today – whether it’s via Facebook, an email, a text or a tweet that sometimes it feels like the art of conversation is dead. It’s not always easy to have a chat while your kids are up and about as they have a great ability to interrupt! So use some of those nap times to have a natter with a friend or your mum. Whoever you call will appreciate the chance to have a chat too, and it’ll give you both the chance to put the world to rights!

These may sound like small bites of ‘me’ time, and they are, but when you’re rushed off your feet most of the time, even the smallest amount of downtime that is spent on yourself will feel valuable. As for time off for a weekend away with the girls, you’ll have to negotiate some real downtime with your partner taking charge of the baby so you can really relax and let your hair down!

These are just some easy ways to get some “me” time. Do let me know how you like to unwind and take that all important “me” time.

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a fabulous weekend.  Do show me your love with your likes and comments and don’t forget to follow me.   🙂

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