If you ask me, mums are highly sensitive people especially new mums who are still new to the motherhood thing and has to learn almost everything overnight. And as far as dads are concerned, you lot are simply doomed. Yes, doomed.

Why? Well, you can be a scientist, an investment banker, a fire fighter, a cop or anything under the sun but the fact that remains that splitting oneself in half to bring out a tiny human being into this world and being responsible for his or hers every need is one heck of a job and cannot be ever, ever, EVER compared to anything. So, here’s a handy note to all you dads out there about things you should never ever, ever, EVER say to new mums.

Read it, comprehend it and make a blueprint of it all over your brain because it can just make your life a wee bit easier.

Sleep when the baby sleeps:

I know you mean well. But please refrain from saying these words because chances are she will snap-back with her racoon eye and ask you when is she supposed to go for a wee, take a bath, have one teeny-tiny minute to herself. When? As you would not have an answer to this just bite those words even before it comes out of your mouth.

Wow, you look tired:

Yes, that’s exactly the look new, sleep-deprived mums are going for.

mommy and baby

Image Via Google Images

Boy, am I tired?!

You could have trekked to Mount Everest and made it in one day but still do NOT talk about being tired because continuously feeding a baby, changing their diapers, cleaning the poop, pee, walls and floor all done mostly with one free hand and one hand holding your munchkin is a physically and emotionally exhausting task. So sorry but not sorry your own tiredness is nothing compared to hers.

Anything about breastfeeding:

Sure you sat through the breastfeeding class and even diligently took notes but for the sake of your health and happiness just do not say anything about breastfeeding. Keep in mind a simple mathematical formula if you ever feel the urge to say anything about the subject: no boobs = no talk about breastfeeding. It really is that simple.

Are you in the mood?

This one is easy to misconstrue. One fine day, after you return from work, you would have realised that she has taken shower, has put on a freshly laundered top, has a hint of make-up and has even shaved her legs. You might be inclined to think that this is your lucky night. But do not ask this question because unless the activity in your mind involves ten hours of uninterrupted sleep (for her) the answer is probably definitely no.

What did you do all day?

Here’s the answer: She has fed, cleaned, burped and calmed the baby some zillion times. Usually, she has already done it ten times before 7AM and on top of that she has made some breakfast, cleaned the poop smeared carpet some ten times and looked after other essential things for the baby the whole day while making sure her own sanity has not gone down the door. See, babies are notoriously dependant on their mums for every single thing and looking after one is not exactly a holiday. So do not ever ask this question, no matter what.

Anything about her weight, shape and size:

If you care for your own safety do not go there because hell hath no fury like a postpartum, hormonal woman surprised and shocked by her body’s change. So DO NOT GO there.

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This New Year’s Eve, I had my first party ever since my daughter’s arrival. I have always been a very confident and bold person. Working as a journalist before baby meant meeting and interacting with people from all walks of life—the biggest attraction of that job. Needless to say, I was a very sociable person; the one with “chutzpah” as my friends and hubby often says. But at that moment, as I scanned the room quietly, approaching my friends rather cautiously hoping that they will not notice the dribble on my dress, I felt an emotion completely foreign to me—I felt lost. I still cannot fathom why I felt the way I felt. But at that moment something hit me rather hard.

Image Via Google Images

Image Via Google Images

The reality is that motherhood, especially if you are a first time mom, can be a very lonely journey. I must say that I have my hubby’s unflinching support. I was also lucky to have my parents and in-laws over during the initial months but despite that I have and feel so lonely. It is a loneliness that I never contemplated about before the little one. I was so naïve to think that babies are so easy.   I did not really know that I would be responsible for every single thing for my daughter. The enormousness of this responsibility sometimes leaves me utterly clueless and slightly terrified.

As my friends sat there, regaling stories about developments in their career and life, I saw myself nodding with a meaningless grin plastered on my face.  What do I tell them, when they talk of career and their busy work that there are days when I have not done anything except nursing and cleaning my darling little one? I wanted to say something witty and important just to make sure they do no disregard me as brain dead or worse assume that I am invisible because I am a mom.

Invisible—that’s what I feel I am most days. I make a point to go out every day not just because the little lady loves it but because I can at least hope to bump into someone and have a conversation. I smile and nod at almost everyone hoping just for an adult conversation; a conversation without the mention of poop, diapers and dribble.

There are days when I argue with the hubby for no reason. His crime—he goes out to work. As ungrateful and petulant it sounds, I feel jealous that he gets to go out. I know he is not partying but earning the all important bread, butter and our tasty omelet but at times this loneliness manifests and turns you into a completely thankless person.

I also wonder what happens to friendships when you become a Mom? It is surprising how your social life takes a back seat as some friends are too willing to drop you because they do not want the unwelcoming drama of someone’s baby. Even those with babies do not have time to meet because perhaps they are going through their cycle of emotions.

It is strange and paradoxical that motherhood makes you stronger and vulnerable. Yes, I do cherish from the bottom of my heart to see my baby thriving but I would not deny that this loss of identity perplexes me. I am also thankful that in this wonderfully challenging journey, I at least have my hubby’s support who not only gives me time out but actually encourages it. I guess, at the end of the day what matters is just that.

I don’t know how my days will pan out from now on but I sure do not need anyone’s pity or sympathy just an adult conversation and perhaps a glass of Chardonnay.

If Motherhood was supposed to be easy; it wouldn’t start with labor.”

When I was pregnant, one of my favourite things to do was to watch Look Who’s talking series of movies on repeat. Ever since the birth of my daughter, I keep wondering what is going in her lovely little head and what all she would say if she could talk. So my overactive mind and imagination has put together this list of what babies would say if they could talk.

Image Via Google Images

Image Via Google Images

On Parents:

“So, this lady with my big milk bottle is the mom and the clueless guy beside her is the dad??!”

On the sudden laughter for no reason:

“I do not want to come across as a diva but I am sitting on my own poop. So mom come and change me.”

On funny face after farting in public:

“Ooops…my bad!”

On nursing that goes on forever:

I haven’t finished yet. More boobies!!

On mommy relaxing/trying to sleep/ going to pee:

If mommy goes out of my sight for a second, I will scream and bring the house down or I will poop. Hmmm. Buhhahaha

On sweet smiles for no reason:

Don’t get so excited and squeal;  I just passed wind.

On waking up inside the crib:

I had slept on mom. How did I end up here???

On breast milk and satisfactory smile after that:

It must be the milk talking but I love you ma’am.

Hope you enjoyed this post on motherhood and parenting. Have a great mid-week. Do show me your love with your likes and comments and don’t forget to follow me  🙂

 

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Paulo Coelho stated, “A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.” As a new mum, I can totally vouch for this. Being a first time mom can be a rollercoaster ride but here is a funny side of the whole First time mommy thing. Before I start the post, I must say I love my daughter to bits (OK, I would love her more if she slept more ;)). I did not know it was possible to love anyone so much. Sometimes, I am on the brink of insanity but still she makes it worthwhile and so without further ado here are the funny things I have learnt as a First time Mom.

Image Via Google Images

Image Via Google Images

  • Those who say they slept like a baby clearly do not have one or have never been with one.
  • I have always been very lady like so why the hell does my daughter fart so loudly especially outside amidst strangers? Why, oh why?
  • Before the babe, I had a full-time job; I was also blogging, socializing with friends and regularly going to gym. I had a busy life or so I thought. Now, I will give my left arm to have a 48-hour-day and I suspect I would still need more.
  • Often after feeding, cleaning and dressing her up, I would think I will relax for a wee-bit with a nice cuppa and just when I let my guard down the baby she……poops.
  • Babies are unpredictable. Just when I think I have mastered her non-verbal cues and “aaaah aah” songs and feel rather pleased with myself for taking stock of her needs, she would change track and then it is back to square one.
  • I always wanted to have super powers now I have one– I make milk.
  • My boobs—they are no longer just mine or my hubby’s for that matter. They are solely and only hers. Her food and sometimes (na, all the time) her comforter, soother, cushion and toy.
  • Those who say babies should have schedule from day one don’t have kids of their own or live in some fairy land.
  • It is slightly annoying when stranger people (na, girls) coo at my hubby when he carries her whilst while I am carrying her, I am just doing my natural duty.
  • The best way to get a baby’s attention: pretend you are relaxing.
  • Just when you think you can get busy with your hubby/partner. Babies will bawl crazy they just know that you are having too much fun without them.
  • Motherhood is not all cuddling, laughter and walk in the park. Motherhood is actually series of shocks and harsh realizations, disgusting things under my fingernails, horrifying smells, and constant irritation.
  • And yet when your baby gives you her innocent laughter, talks to you in her baby language you know you will die thousand deaths just for your baby.

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