Dear hubby,


We all want it. We all seek it. When we find it; we do our best to relish it every day.

But then life gets in the way.

Ever since becoming parents, we have been consumed in a never-ending situation of busy. To-do lists, bills, work, baby, chaos has become part of our life. I am always lamenting that I never have time to do anything productive. You lament that you don’t have time to spend just with me. At night if we are lucky to get some time for ourselves we sit in silence too tired to talk. Perhaps lost in our own thoughts. And so life goes on.

you had me at hello

But despite the bedlam of life, this busyness, this not having time I just want to say I love you. I still remember our first date—in a ramshackle coffee shop. We were meeting for the first time, after months of talking on phone and online. I thought I would have a time tough as I was such an unsure, shy person that time. But our conversation kept going oblivious to the world. You hugged me and I thought I had found home.

We got married and promised we will grow old together.

So here’s the thing. I love you even though sometimes you exasperate me (and I know it’s a mutual feeling), even though sometimes I hate you. I love you through the hardships, the tears, the challenges that life will throw at us. I love you even though we won’t have time or energy to make grand gestures of romance. I love you through the grey hair and wrinkles. I love you through the smiles, the laughter, the songs, the joy and the love itself.

Because you are my home.



Hope you all had a great Valentines day.

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“It’s by your side I make home.” 

Hello my beautiful readers, I have been MIA for a while but I have been so swamped of late feeling like deflated balloon depleted of any energy.  However, on a positive note the hubby and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary on Saturday. Honestly, if you ask me I still don’t know how I (we??) lasted that long. I am not going to bore you with a long, winding story about how we met and how our love story started but one thing is this–I really do have high expectations when it comes to love and marriage. And when I say high expectations, I do not mean sweeping gestures of romance all the time, splashing cash on each other and other such inane material drivel.

The loveliest couple I have ever met and known is my awesome grandparents. (You can read their story here). This post, on the other hand, is not a long letter confessing my undying love to him but rather a reflection on this institution (you can ridicule it all you want but at the end of the day for me it is about this: would you rather let some stranger hold your hand and your head when you are all old and wrinkly or someone who knows you like shadow??)

you had me at hello

Marriage is a lot of hard work. At times, I wish it came with a manual. Sometimes, it is a slow dance of waltz where you forget the world  and the troubles that life bestows upon you. And there are times when it is a dance with swords where you unleash your anger, your insecurities and your negatives at each other and still are able to get up the next day and dance to a different tune. With each other of course.

My hubby is not my knight in shining armor. Instead, he is someone who gives me wings. He and I both know that I am the Queen B who can handle any hitch life throws and I can do it because of the confidence and faith he shows in me. It is important that couples realise that they are equal. Equally to be patted on back for all the successes and equally to be held responsible for all the pitfalls.

As cliched as it sounds, it is about the small things that makes a whole lot of difference. Marriage is not 24/7 romance but the fact that you can find joy and happiness in the most mundane things whether it is weekly grocery shopping or cooking with each other.

It is important to let go. Women especially need to remember this. (I definitely do), We tend to bottle up every single thing, our anger, a slight, a silly comment and unleash it with a lot of wrath when the opportunity comes. But I am learning that it is important to let go of the trivial because it must have been trivial if it did not kill you and end your world. So letting it go for real is important for your sanity for your better half’s sanity and your relationship.

Never forget self-love or loving yourself. It is not selfishness; the only relation that matters above everything else is the one you have with yourself. It is pure. It is unadulterated. Self love is highest form of worship. My hubby and my sis always teach me this that if I cannot love myself I cannot actually love my loved ones.

The bottom line is there is no magic pill for a happy marriage or relationship. It simply is about loving, understanding and not taking it all for granted 🙂

Hope you enjoyed this post on relationships. Have a great rest of the week. Do show me your love with your likes and comments and don’t forget to follow me   🙂

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Growing up as a young adult, two things scared me to death–marriage and commitment. No, it was not because I grew up in a household that was tearing apart or because I was  surrounded by hate. Quite the contrary. Marriage was something I never associated with myself; worse I never used to think I would ever be lucky enough to fall in love. Yes, along came a man who changed all that (more on him later). My college friends and peers taunted my “single” status for ages; some even giving me meaningful advice that I should stop intimidating the opposite sex with my radical views and should learn to act dumb and tender. How was I to make someone like me or fall for the “fake” me was never explained?  And there were those who thought I was a sexless robot; who was only interested in landing a job and cementing my reputation professionally.

How could I explain to them that my idea of love was just too high? That it wasn’t about expensive gifts and comforts, that it extended way beyond things that money can buy. I consider my own parents and grandparents to be the most romantic people, I’ve ever met. They belong to an era when there wasn’t any Valentine’s Day, when you didn’t have social media to declare your love, expensive gifts or trips around the world to make the other half feel desired. It was simpler times and love too was simple.

My thatha (Grandpa) was a tough cookie. He was a stoic man who rarely displayed any emotion. A man of uniform– perhaps his uniform brought in him toughness and discipline rarely seen in others. If I was afraid of anyone in the family it was only him. The only man who could straighten out this wayward, rebellious kid. I could never understand how my poor ammuma (granny) spent an entire life with him, raised four daughters and sailed through the ups and downs that life throws . To me, ammuma was everything thatha was not. She was gentle when he was tough; she was sweet when he was strict. She showered me with love when all he did was drill some discipline in me. She was chalk when he was cheese.

I could not imagine two people more different who were put together in marriage. It was an arranged one like the norm those days in India. For a long time, I felt they carried on the relationship because it was considered as a pious institution. But as I grew up, I learnt an interesting story from ammuma. I learnt about this tough man who gave up his only love; his uniform to be with her. To help her raise the kids (something which was solely woman’s job those days) and to leave his comfort zone, his moments of glory to be with her; love if nothing else is about putting the other person before you.

Yes, times got tough (like times do) and even money was slow but their steadfast love for each other kept the worst things at bay. For ammuma, thatha was a hero not because he constantly declared his love to her but because he gave her wings to fly, an independence which most of women (of later generations) take for granted. Love for them was a giant leap of faith in each other. Annoyingly enough, they could even speak each other’s thoughts.

You see why I thought love, marriage and commitment was too difficult  to fathom? My standards were just too high. It is not about expensive gifts or sexy candle night dinners.

It is about being a powerful team. It is when I don’t have to pretend anything with my man. It is when he treats me like an equal in every walk of life. It is about an unflinching faith.

And yes, it is about finishing sentences.